


He Looks Like He Has a Hefty Baguette in his Pants

by TheLawr



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: I just thought of bread innuendos and this is what happened, Its 2am what am I doing, M/M, baguettes, lord have mercy on my soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawr/pseuds/TheLawr
Summary: Javert's co-workers buy him a 2-month trial to some cooking classes. Let's just say cooking isn't his top priority right now.





	He Looks Like He Has a Hefty Baguette in his Pants

Javert walked up through the glass doors into the unnaturally warm light of the sterile-looking room. Thinking it would be funny his co-workers had bought him a 2 months trial to the weekly baking classes held at the university campus, and being one to not waste people time or money the rather disgruntled Javert had decided to attend at least one class, I mean hey, what could go wrong, it was just baking right?   
As he rounded the corner he caught sight of 6 benches set up with many ingredients, each with its own sink and oven. Being early was in his nature as he found tardiness despicable, meaning there were only one or two other people milling about. As awkward as he was he decided to take a seat on a stool placed in front of one of the corner benches, and tried to look as unapproachable as he could.  
Slowly the room started to fill, and soon the instructor called for everyone’s attention.  
“Hi everyone, we have one newcomer joining us today, his name is Javert.” At this point, she gestured to Javert who tried his best to smile somewhat but just ended up looking pained, which was appropriate as that was how he felt, why did he decide to do this again?  
His thoughts were interrupted by the instructor continuing “So because he’s just new today I thought we’d pair him up with one of our more frequent visitors, Jean.”   
Javert saw a hand raise out of the corner of his eye and turned to see the most godlike man he’d ever seen. This man was built like an ox, his muscles showing through what must be an illegally tight t-shirt. Holy mother of god this man was beautiful, he had Javert drooling at the very sight of him and his bouncy brown curls and broad shoulders. He didn’t even realize he hadn’t moved until he heard a cough from behind him and turned to see the entire room looking at him waiting for him to move over to Jean, this, of course, included Jean himself.   
Javert promptly scurried over to Jean, embarrassed by his stupor. He looked up from his previous view of the floor and was met with Jean's eyes a mere meter away from his, and he knew in that moment he was doomed.   
“Hey, I’m Jean as you probably heard, umm I guess we’re partners,” Jean said, laughing nervously “so uh how much baking or cooking have you done before.”   
His voice was so smooth and velvety Javert considered making it his new religion, fucking god he was going to embarrass himself horribly.  
“Well, uh not much but I uh whipped cream at a fundraiser for the police department once, and it couldn’t of been that bad because well no one died, or was sick, or at least I don’t think they did, I suppose they wouldn’t notify us of that or-“He was rambling, he knew that but he just couldn’t stop his mouth or his brain when he was looking at this angel of the lord.   
Thankfully he was promptly cut off by the instructor “So today we’re going to be making bread, yes I know it seems simple but they do always say it is the simple things in baking which are the hardest to perfect. Now I will let you guys choose which type of bread you want to make, and I’ll just come around and give you advice, alright? Alright! Let’s get going.”  
“Looks like they’re giving us free rein this time, must be cos we got a newcomer aye” Jean pat him on the shoulder to accentuate his point sending shockwaves through Javerts body, he’d known this man for less than two minutes and he already knew he was going to be the death of him.  
“Luckily for you, I’m what you might call a bread connoisseur, it’s my specialty.” Jean said continuing his spiel, “so what do you want from me today?”   
“Something long, and hard” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, oh good lord he wanted the world to swallow him whole, how could he have been so stupid as to let that slip.  
“Ah so a baguette then, perfect I have been working on a recipe and wanted to test out my proportions, it’s more of a sweet baguette than a traditional savory one, but I just adore sweet things so I think the baking lords will forgive me for this one.” Javert blessed this pure-minded man for thinking of a bread to suit his request even though that was far from what he was thinking.  
Jean quickly gathered the ingredients and started measuring everything out, soon he had made the dough and had spread flour over the surface in front of them, “Have you ever kneaded dough before, Javert?” Oh, sweet Jesus, his name coming off his tongue sounded sinful and Javert couldn’t help but think of other sinful things the man could do with it.   
“I uhh no, I haven’t” Javert avoided his eyes to hide his blush.  
“That’s okay no need to be embarrassed here I’ll help you.” Before Javert could protest Jean had stepped behind him placing his body flush against Javert, his hands encircling his wrists, and being shorted than Javert his mouth situated right below his earlobe next to his incredibly sensitive neck. It was this last point which caused Javert the most trouble in the following moments though all were adding to the increasing size of his ‘problem’.  
Jean slowly guided Javerts hands towards the dough and pressed them into it.  
“So, before we can cook the dough we have to work it, don’t be afraid to be intimate with your dough, give it a really sensual massage ya know, get right in there.”   
Fucking Christ was this man trying to kill him, with every word more and more of Jean’s warm breath hit Javert neck, sending shivers down his spine, these shivers didn’t stop there though, oh no they were causing very pressing problem between him and the bench to increase in size with every sexually sounding word that came out of this gorgeous mans mouth. How in the hell could this man take an activity as innocent as making bread and turn it into the most sexy and taboo thing Javert had ever done in his life.  
“You’ve really got to do it with long, hard, and purposeful movements, to really get the most out of every stroke.”   
If this was how much passion Jean put into a task as mundane as baking Javert could only begin to imagine how passionate and intense this man would be in bed, holy hell that thought sent him into an even deeper rabbit hole of dark and lewd thoughts, what did it matter anymore anyway, he was painfully hard in a cooking class for Christ sake with a beautifully sexy man pressed up behind him, Javert’s lustful thoughts couldn’t make this situation any worse or could it?  
Apparently, it could because these thoughts caused Javert to momentarily lose control of his vocal chords as he let out a low keening moan, which made him tense up as soon as the vibrations reverberated in his throat.  
He felt Jean pull away a little bit, “Are you okay Javert, does baking really distress you that much? Well cheer up, we’ve only got to shape it and put it in the oven now.” The shorter man stepped back and looked at him sheepishly obviously taking his groan of pleasure as rather one of boredom. Javert’s heart sank at the downtrodden look on Jean’s face. Sadly, this did nothing to lessen his erection which was thankfully made less noticeable by his apron.  
Javert quickly excused himself and ran to the bathroom. He spent the next 20 minutes calming not only himself but also his lustful thoughts and by extension the problem with his nether regions. He splashed water on his face and scorned himself repeatedly for having these horrible thoughts about what was obviously a good and pure man.  
He finally returned to the kitchen, erectionless, just as Jean was pulling the baguette from the oven, “Ah I thought you’d gone for good, are you feeling quite alright?” Jean said looking at him with a creased brow but a smile none the less. “Uh yeah just need some fresh air I guess” Javert replied avoiding the man’s gaze.   
Jean cut the bread into small slices handing some to Javert and taking a piece of his own in hand. He lifted the bread to his mouth, his lips curling around it in an almost obscene manner. As if the moment couldn’t get any harder for Javert to witness the man had the audacity to let out a moan of pleasure, he let his head tilt back with his eyes closed as he savored the taste of what Javert could only assume was very good bread.   
Javert was rooted to the spot, he felt himself getting hard all over again.   
“Mmm, oh Javert you have to try this, oh the only thing that could make this better is some of your cream” the man opened his eyes to stare straight at Javert’s befuddled face.  
“m-m-my what?” Javert stuttered, was he dreaming, did he actually just say that he wanted Javert’s cream, surely he couldn’t mean, no, no this man was too pure he-  
“Yeah you said you made cream for a fundraiser for the police, cream would go amazing with this baguette.”  
Oh.  
His mental break down was interrupted by the instructor “Well, that’s time everyone, pack up your things and I’ll see you next week.”  
Javert was poised to run, he started to pack up his things, and made to leave the room when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.  
“It was nice baking with you Javert, I look forward to it again next week” Jean then walked so he was once again flushed with Javerts back, his mouth at his ear “I did so enjoy our time together, maybe next week we can spice it up a bit.” He stepped away from Javert, walking past him and turning to him, “We are making Chilli after all.” And with that the sinfully beautiful man winked at Javert and exited the building.   
Javert meanwhile was left frozen. Did that just happen? Javert knew at that moment that this sexy Jean from his cooking class would be the death of him, with his god-like figure, and his either extremely unintentional, or extremely effective innuendos. Either way, Javert knew he was going to get a lot out of those cooking classes, though maybe nothing to do with cooking.


End file.
